Last Saturday, July 28th 2018, I went to “shake my thang” for Luke Bryan at dodger stadium. Oh Man.... Was I excited.
It was only five years ago Peyton and I had seen him for the first time. I was enthralled by his stage presence, and (what seemed to be) the ability to sing directly to me. All the way in the cheap seats, that was all my nineteen year old self could afford. Dancing the night away with my friends, I remember thinking about never wanting the night to end.🎶
I was able to splurge on better seats this time. Oh What A Treat! After making every wrong turn possible, we had finally made it to Dodger Stadium, the gates had barely opened as we made our way to the concession stand and then to our seats. We were there early enough to see Jon Pardi. ( Mr. Pardi was the first date Peyton had spent REAL money on me** I’m talking U.S. Dollars** he has to be the cheapest man on earth!)
Sam Hunt is such a ladies man, I bet you, half of the men there left with more insecurities than they showed up with 😉As the seats filled so did my emotions. I was anxiously awaiting his opening song Country Girl. I danced. I sang. I cried. Wait! Did I just say “cried”......at a country concert? Yes, I sobbed, not the whole time, but on and off, for the duration of the show. How could I go from dancing and singing, to tears pouring down my face? All I could think about was trauma I had witnessed last year.
[October 1st 2017, I was attending a concert series like I had for the past four years. Route 91 harvest was my favorite time of year, even though it meant end of summer, but last year’s was different. A Man opened fire on the festival goers leaving 58 lifeless and thousands with emotion and physical wounds.] I sat there saturday mourning the loss, of my fellow country music fans.
I had been worried the couple in the seats next to us would think I was strange, for weeping as Luke and his band played. I got up to fix myself in the bathroom as a girl who I had never met, embraced me with a hug. I couldn’t resist, I hugged her back and wondered how could this stranger have empathy for me. She had no idea what I was upset about, but she swayed back and forth with me in her arms as I calmed my breathing enough to say "thank you."
We are human and we all have flaws but the innocence of dancing at a concert is so joyous. It is my purists form of happiness. How could a man aim his evil into a crowd, celebrating a great song, and destroy them? I’m praying I find my peace, and find a piece of innocence. I want to believe concerts one day, will be an escape as they once were.
Dear feminism, I Madelyn Rae Enochs do not support you.
unlawful sexual intercourse or any othersexual penetration of the vagina, anus,or mouth of another person, with orwithout force, by a sex organ, otherbody part, or foreign object, without theconsent of the victim.
Two sexual organs touching from a victim and assailant.
After filing a report of the crime, an officer escorted me to a hospital, advising me of a S.A.R.T. Sexual assault response team (aka rape kit) where they remove my clothes and bagged them, and pass them off to my case officer. Followed by photography of my naked body looking for marks and bruising. Swabbing my face, mouth, boobs, vagina and anus. Pouring a blue dye into my vagina to photograph my cervix and look for lesions. I chased the Pill with the tiny dixie cup of water my mouth was so dry and my underwear so wet, that blue dye drained out of me for the days following, humiliation in liquid form and blue in color. The hospital was cold, bright and quite ( besides the cry I could hear from my mother waiting outside the door for me.) I felt so alone, when in reality I had God, my mom, the officer, my SART nurse Sara, and two women from the riverside county sexual assault department supporting me. So embarrassed, I refused the programs to help me. I refused Counsiling and I sucked it up and went about life. I'm not saying that it was the right thing to do, but it was how I coped, until I couldn't any longer, then....
The purpose behind me writing this is-
Only You have the power over your mind,
Only you can change your future,
And Only You are in control of the opportunities you take or turn away. There has never been deprivation in my life, only opportunities I have blinded myself to see. We live in America the Land of Opportunity.... pardon my French but, Make Shit Happen for yourself.
Being my own boss at twenty-two has its perks like, always having the "important days off" for example; disneyland, beach, birthday parties, and the national made up holidays (like national best friend day.... that seems to be on my instagram timeline 3 times a year.) CATCH 22 because that is also its downfall. Managing a Personal life, and a business life, at the barely legal age can be difficult. Something has to PAY THE BILLS, and unfortunately, as much as I would love to Vacation 365 days a year, I'm not an social media butt model (yes!!! That is real life) people get paid to pose in a pool.
*we didn't get paid to pose for this photo.... we actually paid $64 to swim in this 2 ft deep pool. who's the fool?
Back to what I was saying.... Paying bills. I fortunately earn my living by painting hair! I mean how cool is that?! So with that said Book your next appointment. lol
-The blonde in The Cave
written by Madelyn Enochs
(not worth the amount it would cost to print out)