January 24th, 2017

Dear feminism, I Madelyn Rae Enochs do not support you.

• At age twelve I got my period. Although very embarrassing I was never banished to a tent outside my home.
• At age sixteen I obtained my drivers license. Sooner than most of the boys my girls my age.
• At age eighteen I graduated high school with high honors, and voted for the first time. Education was never deprived, and becoming a registered voter wasn't exclusive.
• At age nineteen I graduated trade school. Continued education was pushed upon and readily available and easily accessible.
• At age twenty I started my career in hairdressing. My opportunities were endless, and my growth as a stylist was never limited.
• At twenty one I opened my own small business. When applying for a business license, my gender was not asked to be noted on the application.
• At twenty two I was sexually assaulted. ( not grabbed, nor harassed, but Raped)

Rape
noun
1.
unlawful sexual intercourse or any othersexual penetration of the vagina, anus,or mouth of another person, with orwithout force, by a sex organ, otherbody part, or foreign object, without theconsent of the victim.

Two sexual organs touching from a victim and assailant.
After filing a report of the crime, an officer escorted me to a hospital, advising me of a S.A.R.T. Sexual assault response team (aka rape kit) where they remove my clothes and bagged them, and pass them off to my case officer. Followed by photography of my naked body looking for marks and bruising. Swabbing my face, mouth, boobs, vagina and anus. Pouring a blue dye into my vagina to photograph my cervix and look for lesions. I chased the Pill with the tiny dixie cup of water my mouth was so dry and my underwear so wet, that blue dye drained out of me for the days following, humiliation in liquid form and blue in color. The hospital was cold, bright and quite ( besides the cry I could hear from my mother waiting outside the door for me.) I felt so alone, when in reality I had God, my mom, the officer, my SART nurse Sara, and two women from the riverside county sexual assault department supporting me. So embarrassed, I refused the programs to help me. I refused Counsiling and I sucked it up and went about life. I'm not saying that it was the right thing to do, but it was how I coped, until I couldn't any longer, then....

• At age twenty two I asked God to allow me to forget the incident, He answered, "No." God always answers but not always with the words you want to hear. So instead I changed my prayer to "Justice!" Even with statements from friends there that night, the District Attorney dismissed the case. Devastated, I had to changing my prayer to "Peace," and God has answered! With praise I report that I now have PEACE. *** my heart was hardened and God taught me to forgive. ***Being a believer in God from a young age, forgiveness was something always taught. Not always forgiving fully I had to practice this "fruit of the Spirit." As It does not come naturally to me. It's was as if a wave of emotions that came crushing upon me. Pressing down so hard on my chest, and when it finally released as I gave it to Him, I experienced it! Forgiveness for a man who harmed and humiliated me. It was a relief.

"Evil is real" and so is "Kindness and Opportunity" if I focused on the bad, I would have never been able to see the blessing of forgiveness and the relief it brings.
The purpose behind me writing this is-
Only You have the power over your mind,
Only you can change your future,
And Only You are in control of the opportunities you take or turn away. There has never been deprivation in my life, only opportunities I have blinded myself to see. We live in America the Land of Opportunity.... pardon my French but, Make Shit Happen for yourself.